There is an admirable fish in my house.
This fish is just like the others, but around 2 months ago it started flipping upside down: a sure sign that it was dying.
Amazingly, it is still alive, even until now. Sometimes it stops moving completely and sinks to the bottom, but then it will suddenly filp up and then slowly fall down again. When my uncle came over, he said that the fish had a broken spine. He grabbed the bottle of fish food and sprinkled some of it on top of the fish, saying that it needed help to be able to eat.
I am awed by the fish, surprised that it is so strong and persistant. But sometimes I see its lifeless body at the bottom, unable to move except to flap its fins and rotate its eyeballs; I pity the fish. It would me so much easier to die, and to stop living to save itself the pain.
I did as my uncle said and tried to sprinkle the food on top of the fish. But the fish is at the bottom of the tank and the food floats on the surface. In the end the food gets washed away, out of reach of the fish's mouth. If one or two manages to sink, it always lands somewhere unbearbly close to the fish, but to far for the fish to it it. It lands on the fish's body, right in front of its mouth. I get frustrated, too. So close, and yet so far. I feel sick to the gut whenever I try to feed the fish. It's eyeballs rotate as it sees the food, but they are always out of reach.
So much easier to just die and end it all, then to live and continue.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I rejected
I rejected the Student Council position that I was offered.
On tuesday, I was given the task of collecting the replies of all the Student Council candidates. I went around asking them for their choice, and honestly said 'No' when they asked for my decision. Their faces were surprised and shocked. Everyone said yes, except for Ja**, and Yan*** because she was absent.
I went downstairs where the teacher in charge was conducting a PE lesson. I waited a while before I got a chance to talk to him.
I looked him in the eye and told to his face that everyone was keen on joining the SC, with the exception of Ja** and me. And that Yan*** was absent, so I didn't know her decision.
"OK, sure. No problem. Thank you very much." he replied smiling.
I walked away, feeling slightly uneasy. That generous smile? That easy-going answer? Why did he sound like I had told him the weather? I told my friend Je** about his reaction. She laughed out loud and told me "Maybe the tachers only consider those that say 'No'".
I had said 'Shit' but I don't think it would do me any good.
Meanwhile there are more pressing matters, like english. We are suppose to print out a short story, which our teacher had cleverly uploaded on the internet. Apparently she scanned it in using Adobe. Amazingly, I had lost my password for that particular site. Resigned to asking friends to send me a copy by email, I was replied that neither of them could open the file. Too emberassed to ask my teacher AGAIN for my password (which would be the third time now), I asked my other teacher for my password (the site is a learning site; if a student loses her password, she would clikc the 'lost password' sign, and a new password would be sent to the teacher). Chances are she would reply me tomorrow. In the meantime I would just sit here and sob. But by some stroke of luck, a logical idea (during camp, my teacher praised me for being 'logicak, straightforward and frank'. He added 'thanks for your honesty', and then also 'be careful') comes into my head. SImple, I just surf the net for that short story, and then print it out.
Now I just need to worry about my teacher's less-then-serious reaction...
On tuesday, I was given the task of collecting the replies of all the Student Council candidates. I went around asking them for their choice, and honestly said 'No' when they asked for my decision. Their faces were surprised and shocked. Everyone said yes, except for Ja**, and Yan*** because she was absent.
I went downstairs where the teacher in charge was conducting a PE lesson. I waited a while before I got a chance to talk to him.
I looked him in the eye and told to his face that everyone was keen on joining the SC, with the exception of Ja** and me. And that Yan*** was absent, so I didn't know her decision.
"OK, sure. No problem. Thank you very much." he replied smiling.
I walked away, feeling slightly uneasy. That generous smile? That easy-going answer? Why did he sound like I had told him the weather? I told my friend Je** about his reaction. She laughed out loud and told me "Maybe the tachers only consider those that say 'No'".
I had said 'Shit' but I don't think it would do me any good.
Meanwhile there are more pressing matters, like english. We are suppose to print out a short story, which our teacher had cleverly uploaded on the internet. Apparently she scanned it in using Adobe. Amazingly, I had lost my password for that particular site. Resigned to asking friends to send me a copy by email, I was replied that neither of them could open the file. Too emberassed to ask my teacher AGAIN for my password (which would be the third time now), I asked my other teacher for my password (the site is a learning site; if a student loses her password, she would clikc the 'lost password' sign, and a new password would be sent to the teacher). Chances are she would reply me tomorrow. In the meantime I would just sit here and sob. But by some stroke of luck, a logical idea (during camp, my teacher praised me for being 'logicak, straightforward and frank'. He added 'thanks for your honesty', and then also 'be careful') comes into my head. SImple, I just surf the net for that short story, and then print it out.
Now I just need to worry about my teacher's less-then-serious reaction...
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I got asked
On the second and last night of camp, I was asked to urgently report to a teacher, sometime before 12.
I was curious, so I showered, skiped the drinks and ran with my friend to the teacher's dorm.
We weren't alone, though. A group of students were going in the same direction. They were all Student Councillors. Only a few weren't. And they were all worried that they were going to get scolded for something that they had done.
I didn't say anything because I got this feeling in my gut. And I was right.
When we reached the teacher's dorm we were made to wait outside. After about 10 mins we came in, while the SC moved out. The the teacher told us.
Told us that we were recommended by the teachers a position in the Student Council.
Ru** clapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes shining. Ja** went pink. Yu* ** looked excited and shocked. Cla**** and Ve** smiled. Only my expression remained unchanged. Because I had expected it, and I wasn't feeling keen.
The teacher asked us all on our feelings. When he asked "How many of you feel like you need to seriously think it through?", I raised up my hand. My expression was dead serious. The others looked like Christmas had came early. Was being offered a position like that really that good?
The the teacher launched into a talk on what would we have to do if we joined. What would happen to our future, since the school could recommend us to the better schools when we get older. I wished he hadn't. It would have been much easier for me to reject the offer. Everytime I think that "No, I don't want to join", I think of "SIS can recommend you to good schools in the future".
When I raised my hand, the teacher must have overlooked my reluctance as exhaustion. He said that we were all tired and should seriouly think about it. I didn't say anything.
I only wished that he had never asked at all.
I was curious, so I showered, skiped the drinks and ran with my friend to the teacher's dorm.
We weren't alone, though. A group of students were going in the same direction. They were all Student Councillors. Only a few weren't. And they were all worried that they were going to get scolded for something that they had done.
I didn't say anything because I got this feeling in my gut. And I was right.
When we reached the teacher's dorm we were made to wait outside. After about 10 mins we came in, while the SC moved out. The the teacher told us.
Told us that we were recommended by the teachers a position in the Student Council.
Ru** clapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes shining. Ja** went pink. Yu* ** looked excited and shocked. Cla**** and Ve** smiled. Only my expression remained unchanged. Because I had expected it, and I wasn't feeling keen.
The teacher asked us all on our feelings. When he asked "How many of you feel like you need to seriously think it through?", I raised up my hand. My expression was dead serious. The others looked like Christmas had came early. Was being offered a position like that really that good?
The the teacher launched into a talk on what would we have to do if we joined. What would happen to our future, since the school could recommend us to the better schools when we get older. I wished he hadn't. It would have been much easier for me to reject the offer. Everytime I think that "No, I don't want to join", I think of "SIS can recommend you to good schools in the future".
When I raised my hand, the teacher must have overlooked my reluctance as exhaustion. He said that we were all tired and should seriouly think about it. I didn't say anything.
I only wished that he had never asked at all.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Stomach-ache
I have stomacha-ache today again.
And it's not just today. It has been hurting ever since Monday. But today is different.
Today there is a ache in my chest. I've only felt like this once before: 3 in the morning on Father's Day.
On the eve of Father's day I had terrible dierreahea. I had sushi for dinner, and they all came up when I vomitted in the basin.
I took some pills (Po Chai Pills) and tried to go to sleep. It wasn't unusual for me to have stomach-aches, but it was for me to vomit. I slept well until 2am. I was tossing and turning, and I just couldn't sleep. There was an ache in my chest, and not just that, but there was also a similar one on my back. To top it off, my stomach was hurting again. I finally climbed down my bed and made for the toilet.
My parents were departing for Singapore later on that day. They were still packing. When I came out of the toilet I sat down on one of the dining chairs and tried to rest. It was hard. My breath came out in long, shaky sighs. My chest was burning. My whole body was trembling. My mum told me to dress in my jeans and jacket, and she and my dad took me out. All the clinics were closed, so I ended up going to the hospital. The nurse told me that I looked shaky and tired. The docter said that I had a case of food poisoning. I was given an injection and we came back to our house. On the way back the radio dj wished all fathers of HK a happy father's day. Sitting at the back of the car, I thought, present company included.
And it's not just today. It has been hurting ever since Monday. But today is different.
Today there is a ache in my chest. I've only felt like this once before: 3 in the morning on Father's Day.
On the eve of Father's day I had terrible dierreahea. I had sushi for dinner, and they all came up when I vomitted in the basin.
I took some pills (Po Chai Pills) and tried to go to sleep. It wasn't unusual for me to have stomach-aches, but it was for me to vomit. I slept well until 2am. I was tossing and turning, and I just couldn't sleep. There was an ache in my chest, and not just that, but there was also a similar one on my back. To top it off, my stomach was hurting again. I finally climbed down my bed and made for the toilet.
My parents were departing for Singapore later on that day. They were still packing. When I came out of the toilet I sat down on one of the dining chairs and tried to rest. It was hard. My breath came out in long, shaky sighs. My chest was burning. My whole body was trembling. My mum told me to dress in my jeans and jacket, and she and my dad took me out. All the clinics were closed, so I ended up going to the hospital. The nurse told me that I looked shaky and tired. The docter said that I had a case of food poisoning. I was given an injection and we came back to our house. On the way back the radio dj wished all fathers of HK a happy father's day. Sitting at the back of the car, I thought, present company included.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Cats and my Grandma
My grandma really, really doesn't like the younger cat, Can-can. And she really has a lot of good reasons for disliking him:
1. Toilet paper craze!
One fine day, Can-can walked in the toilet only to see the toilet paper dangling down.
It was such a tempting bait, well, who could have resist? And the next thing that we know, the roll of toilet paper became a mess of tissue paper. A pile of white mess on the floor, with our dear little cat in the middle. I opened the toilet door, and yelled for my grandmother to come.
Can-can got chased out by a long, wooden stick. My grandma grabbed the stick and started jabbing, Can-can gathered his wits and started running. Whack! Gonk! Most missed, but some hit. He dashed all the way to underneath the dining table, and was soon followed by my grandma and her stick. She whacked underneath the table, and he shot back towards the toilet. I grabbed my shoe and started whacking, and he moved backwards. However, my grandmother's stick came from behind. Now he was trapped. Whichever way he went, he would get whacked. In the end, he ran for the dining table and stayed down there for a long time. My grandmother stood nearby with her stick, threatning to kill him if he dared come out from under there.
2. Nice breakfast!
This morning, Can-can went walking on our dining table. Our breakfast was in a bag, and he came over and took a great big whiff.
I'm not sure what happened next, because I was in bed, refusing to get up, but then I heard my grandmother yelling at him for eating her breakfast.
Obviously there are many other reasons, but let's get on with the older cat, MontBlanc.
Good, old, MontBlanc. He lies there all day, except when it concerns Can-can, Summer, or his food. No wait, he doesn't even budge at the sound/ sight of his food. We have to carry him over. Then pim him there to make sure he finishes his food. And then shoo Can-can away from eating his food. And make sure Summer doesn't bark at him. But other then that, MontBlanc has really nice, soft fur. White with black patches, he is very different from Can-can, who is striped like a tiger.
Anyways my grandma likes MontBlanc better then Can-can because MontBlanc doesn't do anything much besides laze around. Basically she doesn't see much of him, which means that he won't get into much mischief. That's why tonight, when I was brushing my teeth, she walked over to the washing machine and started stroking him. He mewed a few times, but she merely asked "What's wrong?" before resuming her stroking. She even petted him to sleep.
In the rare display of affection from my grandmother, I stopped giggling at her actions and went back to brushing my teeth, leaving them together, for that few seconds of theirs alone.
1. Toilet paper craze!
One fine day, Can-can walked in the toilet only to see the toilet paper dangling down.
It was such a tempting bait, well, who could have resist? And the next thing that we know, the roll of toilet paper became a mess of tissue paper. A pile of white mess on the floor, with our dear little cat in the middle. I opened the toilet door, and yelled for my grandmother to come.
Can-can got chased out by a long, wooden stick. My grandma grabbed the stick and started jabbing, Can-can gathered his wits and started running. Whack! Gonk! Most missed, but some hit. He dashed all the way to underneath the dining table, and was soon followed by my grandma and her stick. She whacked underneath the table, and he shot back towards the toilet. I grabbed my shoe and started whacking, and he moved backwards. However, my grandmother's stick came from behind. Now he was trapped. Whichever way he went, he would get whacked. In the end, he ran for the dining table and stayed down there for a long time. My grandmother stood nearby with her stick, threatning to kill him if he dared come out from under there.
2. Nice breakfast!
This morning, Can-can went walking on our dining table. Our breakfast was in a bag, and he came over and took a great big whiff.
I'm not sure what happened next, because I was in bed, refusing to get up, but then I heard my grandmother yelling at him for eating her breakfast.
Obviously there are many other reasons, but let's get on with the older cat, MontBlanc.
Good, old, MontBlanc. He lies there all day, except when it concerns Can-can, Summer, or his food. No wait, he doesn't even budge at the sound/ sight of his food. We have to carry him over. Then pim him there to make sure he finishes his food. And then shoo Can-can away from eating his food. And make sure Summer doesn't bark at him. But other then that, MontBlanc has really nice, soft fur. White with black patches, he is very different from Can-can, who is striped like a tiger.
Anyways my grandma likes MontBlanc better then Can-can because MontBlanc doesn't do anything much besides laze around. Basically she doesn't see much of him, which means that he won't get into much mischief. That's why tonight, when I was brushing my teeth, she walked over to the washing machine and started stroking him. He mewed a few times, but she merely asked "What's wrong?" before resuming her stroking. She even petted him to sleep.
In the rare display of affection from my grandmother, I stopped giggling at her actions and went back to brushing my teeth, leaving them together, for that few seconds of theirs alone.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Cat in Box
Today we stuffed Can-can into a thin, rectangular box.
The box was just sitting there innocently, when Can-can came over and batted it. The whole box toppled over him, and we pushed the flaps open to let him in. Then we shut the flaps.
"He can come out himself." says my grandma. "Wait and see! He's smarter then you!"
Well, he did try very hard to get out. The box was placed vertically up, making it more difficult. He batted with a small window at the side, trying in vain to enlarge it. Then he tried the 'entrance' of the box. He almost got out, but my grandma shut it before he could. On his third attempt, (after getting shut in again by my grandma) he jumped up, and his head pushed the 'entrance/exit' open. He clawed his way out and tumbled down the side. Everyone clapped. It was pretty amazing. Now all we have to do is to grab the other cat, MontBlanc, and then stuff him in. Grandma says that MontBlanc should be out of there in double the time.
The box was just sitting there innocently, when Can-can came over and batted it. The whole box toppled over him, and we pushed the flaps open to let him in. Then we shut the flaps.
"He can come out himself." says my grandma. "Wait and see! He's smarter then you!"
Well, he did try very hard to get out. The box was placed vertically up, making it more difficult. He batted with a small window at the side, trying in vain to enlarge it. Then he tried the 'entrance' of the box. He almost got out, but my grandma shut it before he could. On his third attempt, (after getting shut in again by my grandma) he jumped up, and his head pushed the 'entrance/exit' open. He clawed his way out and tumbled down the side. Everyone clapped. It was pretty amazing. Now all we have to do is to grab the other cat, MontBlanc, and then stuff him in. Grandma says that MontBlanc should be out of there in double the time.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
The Evening Cat
There's a evening cat downstairs.
I see it most frequenty during evening time, when I walk the dog. It's jet black, with green eyes, those kind of cats described in stories as bad omens.
I'm not sure if this means it's a bad omen for me. But the cat is pretty, in a sort of scary, intimidating way. I couldn't get it to come close to me, and I didn't want to get too close because I was walking Summer. And my uncle said that Summer doesn't like anything black - from our black and white cat MontBlanc to Indians.
I'll try again tomorrow.
I see it most frequenty during evening time, when I walk the dog. It's jet black, with green eyes, those kind of cats described in stories as bad omens.
I'm not sure if this means it's a bad omen for me. But the cat is pretty, in a sort of scary, intimidating way. I couldn't get it to come close to me, and I didn't want to get too close because I was walking Summer. And my uncle said that Summer doesn't like anything black - from our black and white cat MontBlanc to Indians.
I'll try again tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
SA2 Results
Yes! My results were so statisfying! Not one of them are below B3(means not one of them is below 65)!
English:
73/100 (A2)
I improved so much for English as compared to SA1. Apparently, my EL Paper 2 was the second best in my class, which was 42/50. It's just too bad that my compositions had to pull me down(even if I didn't fail any this time round).
CA2: 67% (B3)
Chinese:
65/100 (B3)
Well, Chinese wasn't that good, but then, I wasn't expecting really good results for it. Its just a little shameful - Chinese is my mother tounge.
Mathematics:
67/100 (B3)
I'm really pleased with Math, even though its a B3. Getting 67/100 without any tution/ revision help means that my result is totally my own effort. Its only 3 marks from an A2.
Science:
82.5/100 (A1)
My best result in SA2. I was so shocked when I counted my own marks. My teacher was beaming at me when she read out my result, but this is the only exam which I got A1.
CA2: 70% (A2)
Therefore, the total consolidated mark for Semester 2 Science is 77.3% (A1)
History:
70/100 (A2)
I was really surprised with History. I thought I would fail. It was actually my most difficult exam. Just goes to show that I was wrong. For History, it is a A!!
Geography:
67/100 (B3)
This is emberrasing. Even though Chinese was lower then Geog., I still feel that this is my worst subject. The idoit sitting behind me thought it was nice of him to say "Wah. 33/55? Thats 67/100 only leh"
CA2: 76% (A1)
English Literature:
74/100 (A2)
This time round, its an A2. Still. I feel really proud, because this shows that my English composition isn't that bad after all. It makes me feel a lot better.
NDS GAMES:
Dad says that if I hit a certain amount of bands, I will get certain amount of NDS games. Here they are:
1x A1 = 1 NDS game
3x A2 = 1 NDS game
(1x A2) + (3x B3) = 1 NDS game
TOTAL NDS GAMES = 3
English:
73/100 (A2)
I improved so much for English as compared to SA1. Apparently, my EL Paper 2 was the second best in my class, which was 42/50. It's just too bad that my compositions had to pull me down(even if I didn't fail any this time round).
CA2: 67% (B3)
Chinese:
65/100 (B3)
Well, Chinese wasn't that good, but then, I wasn't expecting really good results for it. Its just a little shameful - Chinese is my mother tounge.
Mathematics:
67/100 (B3)
I'm really pleased with Math, even though its a B3. Getting 67/100 without any tution/ revision help means that my result is totally my own effort. Its only 3 marks from an A2.
Science:
82.5/100 (A1)
My best result in SA2. I was so shocked when I counted my own marks. My teacher was beaming at me when she read out my result, but this is the only exam which I got A1.
CA2: 70% (A2)
Therefore, the total consolidated mark for Semester 2 Science is 77.3% (A1)
History:
70/100 (A2)
I was really surprised with History. I thought I would fail. It was actually my most difficult exam. Just goes to show that I was wrong. For History, it is a A!!
Geography:
67/100 (B3)
This is emberrasing. Even though Chinese was lower then Geog., I still feel that this is my worst subject. The idoit sitting behind me thought it was nice of him to say "Wah. 33/55? Thats 67/100 only leh"
CA2: 76% (A1)
English Literature:
74/100 (A2)
This time round, its an A2. Still. I feel really proud, because this shows that my English composition isn't that bad after all. It makes me feel a lot better.
NDS GAMES:
Dad says that if I hit a certain amount of bands, I will get certain amount of NDS games. Here they are:
1x A1 = 1 NDS game
3x A2 = 1 NDS game
(1x A2) + (3x B3) = 1 NDS game
TOTAL NDS GAMES = 3
Monday, May 11, 2009
A Midsummer's Night Dream
Arghhhhh!
I hate my E. Lit. teacher! Picking me to be Hermia just because I'm in her CCA. How fair is that? My CCA, which is Magazine and Media Publications, was subbed for our school magazine. I picked interviewing, and ended up under her. I was the oldest, and supposedly the 'most responsible', so I became leader. I don't like it. I hate it. And yet I don't flunk in her class which is English Literature. Nevermind. I'll definately DROP IT in Sec 3. It's not that long. Come late August and I would be in Sec 2.
It's not that long.
I hate my E. Lit. teacher! Picking me to be Hermia just because I'm in her CCA. How fair is that? My CCA, which is Magazine and Media Publications, was subbed for our school magazine. I picked interviewing, and ended up under her. I was the oldest, and supposedly the 'most responsible', so I became leader. I don't like it. I hate it. And yet I don't flunk in her class which is English Literature. Nevermind. I'll definately DROP IT in Sec 3. It's not that long. Come late August and I would be in Sec 2.
It's not that long.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Fur
Like it to happen to you? Like to feel it? Like to open your closets look again? Look at where and how it came to be?
http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=fur_farm&Player=wm&speed=med
It's bloody, its cruel. Its still happening, and we're still buying.
I couldn't even bring myself to watch the whole video.
http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=fur_farm&Player=wm&speed=med
It's bloody, its cruel. Its still happening, and we're still buying.
I couldn't even bring myself to watch the whole video.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Results are out
Banding: A1, A2, B3, B4, C5 ,C6, C7, E8, F9
So...
Maths: 69/100 (B3)
I improved!! Paper 1 was 37/50, Paper 2 was 32/50. Even so, I only need 1 more mark to get an A2. Sigh. If my math teacher would give ma half-a-mark, I would have gotten back 3 more half-a-mark, which is also 1 and a half-mark. But she wouldn't! According to GCSE standard, they don't give half-a-marks! Darn. GCSE is not until Sec 4, can't she just let me have one more mark?
English Literature: 74/100 (A1)
An A!!! I'm so surprised! Who would have thought I would have gotten an A for a subject related to English subject?
Geography: 75/100 (A1)
Yes! I knew Geography was interesting! And I knew I was good in Geography!
So...
Maths: 69/100 (B3)
I improved!! Paper 1 was 37/50, Paper 2 was 32/50. Even so, I only need 1 more mark to get an A2. Sigh. If my math teacher would give ma half-a-mark, I would have gotten back 3 more half-a-mark, which is also 1 and a half-mark. But she wouldn't! According to GCSE standard, they don't give half-a-marks! Darn. GCSE is not until Sec 4, can't she just let me have one more mark?
English Literature: 74/100 (A1)
An A!!! I'm so surprised! Who would have thought I would have gotten an A for a subject related to English subject?
Geography: 75/100 (A1)
Yes! I knew Geography was interesting! And I knew I was good in Geography!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Playing Piano
Exams just finished today.
I'm really happy. I came back from school, and ran down with my piano bag to the piano room. After 3 weeks of no piano, I was ready to get back and play.
Just earlier, my friend played a piece of music - 老鼠爱大米. It was just like my version, but she edited it, emphasizing on the left hand. Well, I got to the piano room and tried it.
I absolutely loved it. I kept on playing it, forgetting to practice my other piano score sheets, foregetting that I would die when my results were out, ignoring the growing pain in my arms, as though they were on fire, as they were tired out with my continuous playing, forgetting everything, all my worries. I was happy. Very happy. How do you express that into the written language? It was a sudden emotional-wave as well. Everything was forgotten. I felt the freest when my fingers hit the piano key.
How do you express the in-expressible feeling of elation and happiness?
I haven't felt like this in a long time. Too long, in fact. When did I last feel it? I can't remember. But I remember that this feeling is great. You feel free. You feel high. For once, after so long, I can forget about the byotches in school and enjoy my life, maybe just for a while.
But I enjoyed it, all right.
I'm really happy. I came back from school, and ran down with my piano bag to the piano room. After 3 weeks of no piano, I was ready to get back and play.
Just earlier, my friend played a piece of music - 老鼠爱大米. It was just like my version, but she edited it, emphasizing on the left hand. Well, I got to the piano room and tried it.
I absolutely loved it. I kept on playing it, forgetting to practice my other piano score sheets, foregetting that I would die when my results were out, ignoring the growing pain in my arms, as though they were on fire, as they were tired out with my continuous playing, forgetting everything, all my worries. I was happy. Very happy. How do you express that into the written language? It was a sudden emotional-wave as well. Everything was forgotten. I felt the freest when my fingers hit the piano key.
How do you express the in-expressible feeling of elation and happiness?
I haven't felt like this in a long time. Too long, in fact. When did I last feel it? I can't remember. But I remember that this feeling is great. You feel free. You feel high. For once, after so long, I can forget about the byotches in school and enjoy my life, maybe just for a while.
But I enjoyed it, all right.
Friday, January 9, 2009
My Friends*
I know. Again.
My lovely friends. In between us, I realised that our personalities are very different, and that I don't really enjoy their company. I might be treated as a best friend, but I will never think of myself as their best friend. Why? Put it simply, I hate their personalities. I have half a mind to ditch them. 'Best friends' is just all wishful thinking. But I will bear with it - I could possibly be going back to Singapore anyway. But I haven't told them that.
Difference Number 1
We are amused by different things. I get amused when I see a boy flirting(just a little) with a friend I know.
Their response(Ju*** and Sh****): Is it supposed to be funny?
They like to watch from upstairs the boys playing basketball downstairs.
My response: Is it that amusing?
Difference Number 2
They quarrel very often. Usually with Sh****. I can't stand it, since it gets on my nerves. I often leave, but I always end up in the middle.
Difference Number 3
Too frank. Or too unhonest.
La****:Yeesh, you(me) have lots of acne...
Me: You're mouth is dirty!(both meanings)
That's right. I act so much like a byotch that I slip insults at my friends right under their noses and they don't even realise it.
So sue me. I don't care. They deserve it. Those aren't friends. Those are byotches. All of them.
Difference Number 4
Different taste in things. Their IPods are cramped full of English music. I love Chinese singers.
They don't get why I like Jap anime either(Bleach, Bakugan, etc.)
Difference Number 5
There's always this part of them that hate the things I do. Like: the other friends I hang out with.
Those other friends are much better friends. They happen to be in my class. I make friends with all the girls in my class, but they find problems with Tai***** and K****. And they get jealous when those two girls give me gifts.
Difference Number 6
There's this personality difference. I'm violent, aggressive, intelligent, proud, a loner, selfish, mature(both meanings). They aren't.
I can't wait till I leave this school. FOREVER.
My lovely friends. In between us, I realised that our personalities are very different, and that I don't really enjoy their company. I might be treated as a best friend, but I will never think of myself as their best friend. Why? Put it simply, I hate their personalities. I have half a mind to ditch them. 'Best friends' is just all wishful thinking. But I will bear with it - I could possibly be going back to Singapore anyway. But I haven't told them that.
Difference Number 1
We are amused by different things. I get amused when I see a boy flirting(just a little) with a friend I know.
Their response(Ju*** and Sh****): Is it supposed to be funny?
They like to watch from upstairs the boys playing basketball downstairs.
My response: Is it that amusing?
Difference Number 2
They quarrel very often. Usually with Sh****. I can't stand it, since it gets on my nerves. I often leave, but I always end up in the middle.
Difference Number 3
Too frank. Or too unhonest.
La****:Yeesh, you(me) have lots of acne...
Me: You're mouth is dirty!(both meanings)
That's right. I act so much like a byotch that I slip insults at my friends right under their noses and they don't even realise it.
So sue me. I don't care. They deserve it. Those aren't friends. Those are byotches. All of them.
Difference Number 4
Different taste in things. Their IPods are cramped full of English music. I love Chinese singers.
They don't get why I like Jap anime either(Bleach, Bakugan, etc.)
Difference Number 5
There's always this part of them that hate the things I do. Like: the other friends I hang out with.
Those other friends are much better friends. They happen to be in my class. I make friends with all the girls in my class, but they find problems with Tai***** and K****. And they get jealous when those two girls give me gifts.
Difference Number 6
There's this personality difference. I'm violent, aggressive, intelligent, proud, a loner, selfish, mature(both meanings). They aren't.
I can't wait till I leave this school. FOREVER.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
小酒窝
JJ林俊杰／蔡卓妍 (阿SA) ~ 小酒窝
词：王雅君
曲：林俊杰
我还在寻找 一个依靠和一个拥抱
谁替我祈祷 替我烦恼 为我生气为我闹
幸福开始有预兆 缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了 无聊变得有话聊 有变化了
小酒窝长睫毛 是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着 想念你的微笑
你不知道 你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好
小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老
幸福开始有预兆 缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了 无聊变得有话聊 有变化了
小酒窝长睫毛 是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着 想念你的微笑
你不知道 你对我多么重要
有了你生整完成的刚好
小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老
小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老
taken from http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=oNZMKIxi11k
see below blog posts for MV
词：王雅君
曲：林俊杰
我还在寻找 一个依靠和一个拥抱
谁替我祈祷 替我烦恼 为我生气为我闹
幸福开始有预兆 缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了 无聊变得有话聊 有变化了
小酒窝长睫毛 是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着 想念你的微笑
你不知道 你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好
小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老
幸福开始有预兆 缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了 无聊变得有话聊 有变化了
小酒窝长睫毛 是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着 想念你的微笑
你不知道 你对我多么重要
有了你生整完成的刚好
小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老
小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老
taken from http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=oNZMKIxi11k
see below blog posts for MV
Monday, January 5, 2009
Time
Time is flowing by... pretty quickly.
Christmas Break is over, and now we all have to start studying and revising for our exams. It starts this Friday. Ends next Friday.
As I stared in the mirror just now at my own reflection, I was struck by how fast time is moving now - and how I'm making no effort to slow it down.
I didn't even complete that thought. Because I'm afraid.
I'm afraid, that if I even think of how slow time is going, I'm really, really afraid that time will slow down again.
And I'm terrified by it. Time can't get slower... now... not when I'm in Hong Kong.
Christmas Break is over, and now we all have to start studying and revising for our exams. It starts this Friday. Ends next Friday.
As I stared in the mirror just now at my own reflection, I was struck by how fast time is moving now - and how I'm making no effort to slow it down.
I didn't even complete that thought. Because I'm afraid.
I'm afraid, that if I even think of how slow time is going, I'm really, really afraid that time will slow down again.
And I'm terrified by it. Time can't get slower... now... not when I'm in Hong Kong.
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